I’m not very good at it. Actually, if I say that, it kind of implies that I can do it to some degree. I can’t. My face gets red, my eyes get red and puffy, and my words become instantly incoherent. I’ve never been capable of the dainty tears some girls can produce at the drop of a hat.
I say this because unfortunately, I feel like I’ve been un-pretty girl crying a lot over the last several days. I left school Thursday night to have knee surgery on Friday, and it went very well. I went home feeling great all day, but then it started to go down-hill over the weekend, and Sunday, I ended up back in the hospital with blood clots in my lower leg. I thought I would just have to be there for a couple of hours to get everything back to normal, but it’s Tuesday and I’m still in a hospital bed. I won’t go into all the treatment details because some of you may have delicate stomachs, but it hasn’t been very pleasant and I’ve been rather sad.
To my relief, all of my professors have been extremely understanding of my absence and have all been wishing me the best; it’s so nice to have that kind of support from those who could make or break my academic career. I think that is a huge advantage of going to a small school where your professors know who you are and care about your life outside of the classroom, rather than just caring about you for the 50 minutes that you spend under their watch each day. One of them even included a little life lesson in her email to me, which was greatly appreciated.
I’ve also been very appreciative of my parents’ vigilance (and the visits from all of our friends at home!); they’ve been in my room with me night and day, keeping me company and making me laugh. While I was on the phone with a friend from school, my dad proceeded to securely wrap my good foot in medical tape.
I’m also in a bed that I am convinced is actually a rocket ship. It shifts my pressure points since I’m on constant bed-rest, so whenever I change my weight around, it starts up and sounds like a plane getting ready for take-off. I thought that was fun for about twenty minutes on Sunday.
I’m so ready to get out of here, but the check-out time seems to keep getting farther and farther away. I really thought I was going to be discharged today, but then it was made clear by several people that it’s best for me to stay here for a couple more days (which may or may not have prompted more un-pretty girl crying…briefly). It’s just all been very frustrating. The light at the end of the tunnel is getting to go back to my friends and schoolwork and day-to-day routine, because I miss it all right now!
And to all of my friends and family elsewhere, thanks for the prayers and flowers, phone calls and messages! It definitely brightens my days.