The Mollusk

I’m finally driving again after this whole ordeal with knee surgery and the following hospitalization. This weekend, I went home and got my car from my house and visited with my parents. They had just gotten back from Costa Rica and had lots of stories to tell and pictures to show. They also made a “traditional Costa Rican breakfast” for me and my friend on Saturday morning, which was delicious and fun. Going home is always peaceful and revitalizing. At least, it used to be, until our lives changed forever back in October.

Some of you may remember when I wrote about my new chocolate Lab puppy, Remi. I picked her up on the way home for Fall Break last semester, when she was still small and always sleepy. Those days are long gone, for now she is like a bull in a china closet all the time.

To give you an idea of what we’re living with, get this… Over Christmas, a friend of my dad’s came over to the house, and as he was leaving, he and my dad stood in the front doorway with the door open. Remi ran outside and disappeared into the darkness. Suddenly, we heard a horrible sound coming from the bushes, and the Christmas lights flickered and went out. Remi had chewed through the light strand and electrocuted herself. She was fine, don’t worry. But come on…. really?

I’ve also had my mom write me a few emails over the course of Remi’s life at our house. “Call our cell phones, Remi chewed through the land line. Again.” She’s also chewed through the cable wires, the keyboard of our computer, the mouse, wicker furniture in the sunroom, countless shoes, mom’s potted plants, the broom, and, on occasion, her own tail, which she chases in circles.

One day, my parents came home to this…

Remi had been left at home alone for the first time in a month, and clearly, got very bored.

Surprisingly, this crazy animal is actually an extraordinary retriever. My dad is a big hunter (ducks, quail, dove, etc.) and is so proud of his little prodigy, who loves fetching and swimming. If only we could house-break her…

Dad came up with a theory that I believe wraps up Remi’s antics. We have another chocolate Lab, Coco, who is 11, and grew up the complete opposite of Remi. Coco was always cool, calm, and collected, mellow and thoughtful. We thought Remi would be the same, but we stand corrected. The only explanation is that Coco, in another life, was a human, who was not very well-behaved and when she died, was bumped down a level on the reincarnation scale. Now she is living her life to the best of her ability so she can regain Homo sapiens status. Remi, in a former life, was actually a mollusk, and by some cosmic disturbance, skipped all the other levels and went straight to mammal, and for the first time ever has a vertebrae and doesn’t know what to do with herself.

Despite all of this mayhem, I still love her. Every now and then, she will completely exhaust herself by doing mollusk-y things and will enter a  semicomatose state. At that rare instance, she really is sweet and precious. This happened once while I was home Friday evening and was very enjoyable. As much as I love school, I am looking forward to a longer visit with Remi and my family at home.

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